Friday, June 4, 2010

Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear Your Pastor Say

Sunday night at the Refinery, we shared the “Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear Your Pastor Say.” Without further ado …

10. Today we’re going to mix it up a little … for communion, we’re having Mentos and Diet Coke! (everybody be careful!)

9. I’m kind of surprised that I am even here this evening … I have the WORST hangover. (those trustees really know how to throw a party.)

8. You’re mom died? Oh, that’s too bad. My niece’s parrot died a few week’s ago – and I’m still pretty broken up about it.

7. I want to share a few vacation pictures with you … I was hesitant about the Tuesday shots, since it was “Speedo Day” on the beach, but I decided to go ahead and ‘share it like it is!’

6. I know that Paul “just says NO” in the NT, but after serious theological reflection, I think its time for all the men in the congregation to be re-circumcised as a sign of the new covenant.

5. We’re out of communion bread, but we did find this cheesy bread back there in the youth room. (when did they have pizza night … Wednesday, right?)

4. I really want you to get this point I am making, so here is a clip from ‘The Exorcist.’

3. I’ve been thinking the Mormons might have it right … so next week, we’ll begin sign-ups to schedule interviews to find my second wife!

2. I had an exciting sermon prepared for today, but I think I am just going to get started here and see where the Spirit leads us, I mean, who doesn’t have plenty of time for the Spirit?

And the number 1 thing you never want to hear your pastor say is …

1. I’ve been assessing your situation and … you really might be going to hell.


The Angry Techie said...

I heard #2 on a regular basis at my former church... What a headache!! Usually "letting the spirit lead me" is a misnomer for "I didn't prepare anything, and this is my way of covering up... And I'm just going to ramble all day!"

Unfortunately, all those poor people at that place accept it and listen all stinking day...

Missy said...

I HATE that I missed Refinery last week. Grrr!