Sunday night at the Refinery, we shared the “Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear Your Pastor Say.” Without further ado …
10. Today we’re going to mix it up a little … for communion, we’re having Mentos and Diet Coke! (everybody be careful!)
9. I’m kind of surprised that I am even here this evening … I have the WORST hangover. (those trustees really know how to throw a party.)
8. You’re mom died? Oh, that’s too bad. My niece’s parrot died a few week’s ago – and I’m still pretty broken up about it.
7. I want to share a few vacation pictures with you … I was hesitant about the Tuesday shots, since it was “Speedo Day” on the beach, but I decided to go ahead and ‘share it like it is!’
6. I know that Paul “just says NO” in the NT, but after serious theological reflection, I think its time for all the men in the congregation to be re-circumcised as a sign of the new covenant.
5. We’re out of communion bread, but we did find this cheesy bread back there in the youth room. (when did they have pizza night … Wednesday, right?)
4. I really want you to get this point I am making, so here is a clip from ‘The Exorcist.’
3. I’ve been thinking the Mormons might have it right … so next week, we’ll begin sign-ups to schedule interviews to find my second wife!
2. I had an exciting sermon prepared for today, but I think I am just going to get started here and see where the Spirit leads us, I mean, who doesn’t have plenty of time for the Spirit?
And the number 1 thing you never want to hear your pastor say is …
1. I’ve been assessing your situation and … you really might be going to hell.